


Cold Comfort

by SlowBurnJane



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/F, Fortress of Solitude, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kara gets another chance to explain, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Or Therapy, Season 5 Fix-It, post 5x07
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-13 15:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21496678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlowBurnJane/pseuds/SlowBurnJane
Summary: Takes place immediately after 5x07. Lena returns to her lab to begin the final step in her plan when she suddenly remembers Kara is claustrophobic and quickly goes back to the Fortress of Solitude to free her.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 64
Kudos: 688





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since I finished watching 5x07 I can’t stop thinking about poor Kara, devastated by her fears coming true. Lena *hasn’t* forgiven her and now she’s encased in her own personal hell. 
> 
> If Lena had any idea Kara was claustrophobic, she’d go back to free Kara in a heartbeat, her project be damned. Non Nocere indeed. ;)
> 
> I’ve been writing this fix-it between meetings at work so please excuse any mistakes.

Lena noticed Malefic’s absence from the containment cell the moment she passed through the portal.

A heady mixture of adrenaline coursed through her as she scanned the rest of the laboratory for the missing martian. 

_ How had this happened? _

The electromagnetic walls were still visible as Lena slowly approached the cell. There were no signs of damage or struggle that she could see. It was as if the martian had simply teleported out of the cell. Except Lena knew that was impossible without help. Someone knew Malefic had been here. The list of people Lena knew capable of pulling off such a feat was miniscule and completely involved the D.E.O.

The clock had started ticking on her plan the moment Lena had pulled the rug out from under Kara but now the pressure was on. She was fairly confident that the fair-haired Kryptonian would be exactly as she had left her in the Fortress of Solitude but now that it was almost certain that the D.E.O. knew of Lena’s deception with the phantom zone projector, she hardly had a moment to lose.

The interfacement of Myriad with Hope wouldn’t take long. Giving the empty containment cell one last wary glance, Lena got to work.

As she pried open panels and exposed circuitry for splicing, Lena methodically went through her mental list of next steps. 

_ Myriad would link the global satellite system effortlessly once controlled by Hope.  _

_ The protocol would be engaged at her prompt. _

_ _

_Evaluate results and re-calibrate as needed._

It was a lofty goal but Luthors were never one to back away from a challenge. Lena wondered what her brother would think of her now.

She also wondered what Kara’s reaction to Non Nocere would be. As Kara Danvers she was a vocal opponent against violence and to a lesser extent so was Supergirl. 

It was still a struggle for Lena to associate Kara with the Supergirl persona. If she were honest with herself, it was easier on Lena’s wounded psyche to think of the woman who had betrayed her as Supergirl because Lena had never had a close, loving relationship with Supergirl like she had with Kara.

Supergirl hadn’t broken her heart to pieces. Kara had.

It frustrated Lena to no end that she couldn’t control her own mind when it came to the subject of her unbidden thoughts and disconsolated dreams. She would have to settle for ensuring nobody else ever had the chance to betray her again.

Lena had left Supergirl detained within kryptonite-laden ice but, as she had assured the distraught godling before stepping through the portal, she wasn’t going to kill her. Once Lena was finished the interface she would use the trans-matter portal watch to go back to the fortress to free her. By then there would be no amount of pleading to turn this plan around. Non Nocere would be activated tonight.

As she continued to pry open the components in front of her, an unbidden thought tugged at her mind, just out of reach. A wisp of a memory that tugged her focus away from her work.

Supergirl immobilized by kryptonite, enveloped by ice, unable to escape.

Supergirl trapped in place...

Kara...

Lena bolted upright so suddenly her stool flew across the lab. 

_ Kara was claustrophobic.  _

Lena was immediately reminded of the times Kara had mentioned it when they spoke of childhood fears they hadn’t quite overcome, of dares they would never take on, of things they considered character flaws.

It was the memory of a late night, post-disaster exchange with Supergirl that struck Lena the hardest though. 

Supergirl...Kara…had described what being stuck in the phantom zone had felt like. The low, monotone voice Kara had adopted as she spoke of the horror of being trapped in her pod with nothing but her heartbeat and the faint whirring of the life support system. 

It had chilled Lena to the bone at the time and she recalled the urge to comfort her in that vulnerable moment but had ultimately resisted. It had felt too strange to bridge that gap with an acquaintance. She knew different now though.

Lena had essentially encased Kara in her own personal hell.

Closing her eyes, Lena cursed her wounded heart. She was so close to her goal but she knew what she had to do. 

“Fuck.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena’s true feelings start closing in on her (a.k.a. bridging S5 OOC Lena with S2-4 Lena with some good old fashioned monologuing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kara...

If Lena was completely honest with herself she probably could have deactivated the defence system remotely. A standard frequency amplifier manufactured by L-Corp would have done the trick. Lena could have modified the remote in a matter of minutes.

Unfortunately the same gnawing feeling that was currently causing her chest to seize painfully was the same that prevented her from doing just that.

Damn her inconvenient feelings for Kara Danvers.

Her entire project was based on doing no harm and yet in her path of righteousness, Lena had harmed the person who still held the pieces of her heart.

Lena buttoned her coat and fastened the portal watch to her wrist. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen when she freed Kara so ensuring her getaway was securely at hand would be paramount.

Flicking open the watch face, Lena paused, looking around the lab for anything else that might aide her at the fortress. Striding over to a nearby cupboard, Lena shoved an armful of blankets under her arm before she could convince herself otherwise.

The purple glow of the portal swelled in front of Lena and she took a fortifying breath before stepping stepping into the portal.

_______

  
  


It was as if Lena had never left the Fortress of Solitude.

The ice stalagmite before her remained intact, the faint green glow of the kryptonite and deep blue of Kara’s suit filtering faintly through the ice. 

As the portal closed behind her, a whimper broke through the quiet din of the chamber and Lena’s heart clenched in her chest, startling her into action.

Clicking the remote, Lena watched the icy kryptonite-laced stalagmite vaporize into thin air as the defence system deactivated. Kara, dazed and shaking, stood before her for a moment before collapsing.

Instinct kicked in and Lena rushed across the cracked ice to Kara’s side.

“Kara!”

Lena grabbed Kara’s shoulder and turned her over onto her back. Kara’s breathing was shallow and her eyes were closed tightly. Lena’s hand shook slightly as she brushed the hair back from Kara’s face.

“Kara, open your eyes,” She pleaded.

Kara startled slightly at the sound of her voice but eyes remained closed. Lena reached down to grasp Kara’s hand firmly.

“You’re okay, I promise,” she murmured softly, a jolt of relief flooding through her at the squeeze she felt after a moment. Red-rimmed eyes opened to the cavernous ceiling before tracking towards Lena’s anxious face.

“Lena,” Kara said, voice cracking, “You c-came back.”

Lena shook her head as though the thought of Kara believing she wasn’t going to come back was ridiculous. “Of course I came back. I was always going to come back to free you, Kara.” 

A full body shudder ran through Kara and she curled up into herself. “I d-don’t understand. You hate me. Why come b-back?” She asked, her voice a strained croak. 

Lena closed her eyes for a moment. “I told you, Kara. I’m not a villain. I was never going to leave you here indefinitely.” She explained. “It’s just… I remembered how claustrophobic you are and, I…” she shook her head again, “I couldn’t leave you like that.”

Kara shivered again and Lena suddenly remembered the blankets she had brought with her. Letting go of Kara’s hand, Lena quickly began unfolding one of the blankets.

“Here, let’s get this on you,” Lena urged, draping a blanket over Kara’s trembling form before reaching for the other blanket to add on top. If anything Kara’s trembling increased.

“Is there anywhere in here not made of ice? We need to warm you up.”

“Th-through there,” Kara mumbled, inclining her head slightly toward a gap in the far wall. “Clark stays here s-sometimes.”

Lena nodded, “Okay, do you think you can stand up? I can help you walk.”

Kara took a few breaths before sitting up. Lena wrapped a hand under each arm and rose from her crouch, pulling Kara with her. Kara wobbled on her feet and Lena quickly slid an arm around her waist to steady her. 

“Easy now,” Lena coaxed, “I’ve got you.”

They shuffled across the cracked ice to the gap in the wall that revealed a smaller chamber. This was the first area in the fortress Lena had seen resembling anything close to a residence. A knee-high platform was covered in what appeared to be bedding. Tall candelabras lined the walls fit with candles in varying state of use.

Lena guided Kara towards the platform. 

“Let’s get you on the bed and then I’ll light the candles to warm the room up.” 

Kara nodded her head amid her trembling, climbing onto the bedding as soon as they reached the edge of the platform. Lena adjusted the blankets over Kara before searching the room for something to light the candles. 

It struck her then that she wouldn’t find a lighter or matches. Superman has heat vision that could light the candles easily.

“Um, Kara… I’m going to need your help lighting the candles. There’s nothing conventional to light them with here.”

Kara looked over at her for a moment, the exhaustion from the past couple of hours showing plainly on her face before she focused on a point beside Lena. Kara’s eyes glowed red for a long moment before finally her heat vision engaged, searing the tops off a group of candles before flickering out.

Of the six candles in the stand, two were lit and four were melted into splotches against the icy wall. Lena pried one of the lit candles off the stand and quickly lit the rest of the candles in the room. By the time she had replaced the candle in its place, Lena could feel the room getting warmer. Turning back toward the platform, Lena saw Kara watching her, a look of resigned sadness sliding into place once again. Where it had infuriated Lena earlier, it now twisted something deep inside of her chest.

Lena barely recognized her own voice as she slowly walked over to Kara.

“You know, when I learned you had betrayed me, lying to me for years… I… thought the pain of my heart breaking would actually kill me. I’ve been manipulated and betrayed numerous times before of course, but,“ Lena paused, shrugging a shoulder. “For some infuriating reason, your betrayal has scarred me the most.”

Kara watched her approach, listening silently.

“It’s the reason I’m here right now instead of finishing my work. I could be saving humanity from pain and suffering right now but instead I’m here.”

Lena sat on the edge of the platform and arranged the blankets closer to Kara’s trembling form.

“I wanted to hurt you so much, Kara. You humiliated me and lied to me and _ used _ me for years. I…I worked beside you on important, world-saving projects time and time again, but instead of trusting me, you used your Supergirl persona to accuse me of hiding secrets as a means to justify the ruse you refused to drop.” 

Lena threw her hands up in front of her, helplessly. 

“And what kind of idiot am I? Deceived by a pair of glasses and a wardrobe. I stewed over that one for weeks, by the way. But of _ course _ I could look past aesthetic when I was foolishly thriving on the love, kindness, and respect you consistently bestowed upon me. You really are a good actress.”

Lena looked up at the ceiling, willing her eyes not to fill with tears.

“I fell for Kara Danvers hard. For all of the emotional walls I had carefully constructed over the years, I never stood a chance.”

She looked down at Kara and felt hot tears slide down her cheeks. Kara watched her, tears of her own falling across the bridge of her nose and onto the bedding below. Lena knew wiping the tears away would be a lost cause at this point so she didn’t bother.

“It seems that despite you breaking my heart, despite the soul crushing pain I’ve been drowning in for months now and the desire to make you feel even a fraction of the hurt you’ve caused me, my heart has decided to play the cruelest trick of all,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “It turns out hurting you only makes me hurt more because I can’t seem to stop loving you.”

Lena watched Kara’s eyes close, silent sobs wracking her body. She didn’t understand why Kara continued to show her vulnerability. Lena knew Kara never backed down from her righteousness, and yet she had merely begged Lena not to take Myriad with her. A part of her also knew if Kara had tried hard enough she most likely could have broken free of the defence system, kryptonite or not. 

None of this had made her feel better. Her carefully packed boxes had been upended and all Lena had left was a mess of uncertainty and heartache. She had her goal in sight, a goal that was in jeopardy every minute she spent here instead of at her lab completing the interface.

It was time to salvage what she could of her once iron-clad Luthor pride and adjust course.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Kara froze, eyes flying open at the admission.

“What-“ Kara’s voice broke, “What can’t you do?” She asked, pushing herself upright to meet Lena at her level, the blankets pooling at her waist.

Lena looked off toward the flickering candles, the light reflecting off her tearful face.

“Our friendship, or what’s left of it. It’s too hard, the constant pretending. I’m a fucking mess right now, Kara.”

“Lena-“

“I have never let my heart rule over my head. That’s not-“

“Lena, wait-“

“That’s not how a Luthor-“

Kara reached over and pulled Lena until she faced her. “Stop. Just stop.” She swiped the back of her other hand over her eyes before she spoke again, her voice stronger with every word. “You are _ not _ your family. You don’t want me telling you what you are but it’s true. You are _ good_.”

At Lena’s scoff, Kara shook her head. “You are! You’re here, aren’t you? You hold yourself to an unattainable standard but you’re also human and hurting. I can’t even express how badly I wish I regret not sharing my identity with you, regardless of the complexities involved. If you believe anything I say, believe that, but I can’t change what’s been done. Rao knows I wish I could, but I can’t.”

Lena opened her mouth to speak but Kara shook her head. “No, you had your chance to speak and I listened.” She said, her Supergirl persona bleeding through. “It’s my turn now to talk now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if the DEO is at Lena’s door yet...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara has some things to say and Lena realizes there might be another way forward.

“You have this grand notion that we were all out to humiliate and use you, but it’s far from the truth. There was no cruel plot to deceive you, as hard as that is for you to believe.”

Lena watched Kara rake a hand through her tangled hair, her brow furrowed in frustration.

“You must realize I don’t just reveal my identity to someone because I like them or they’ve helped the DEO. In fact, there are less than ten Agents working at the DEO who know I’m Kara Danvers. You have literally met every single person on Earth who knows I’m both Kara and Supergirl. The list isn’t long, Lena. The damage that could be done with that knowledge could put this entire city in danger. I can’t risk the lives of innocent people and I certainly cannot help people if the ones I care about most are in danger because of me. That’s  _ my _ Achilles' heel, by the way which I know you know about because you’ve exploited it a number of times since I came clean to you.”

Kara shifted on the platform to face Lena more fully and Lena thought she might jump out of her skin.

“I can’t fault you for that though. I all but told you to use me.” Kara said, snorting softly “You say I tore down your emotional walls but Lena, I weakened my principles for you. I have never allowed anyone to sway me like that. Not to that level. Do you not see that?”

“You lied to me-“

“Yes! I lied to you about being Supergirl! But only about that. Everything else… Lena, it was real. I wasn’t keeping tabs on you or spying on you, I was there because I wanted to be. And I wanted to come clean about my identity, truly, but I was pressured into not telling you back before the DEO fully trusted you, and by the time I was finally free to tell you so much time had past and you hated Supergirl so I chose to be a coward. I selfishly wanted to keep the best thing I’ve ever had in my entire life in any way I could.”

Tears tracked down Kara’s face as she looked at Lena. “I know I’m a fool for thinking I could keep you in my life after betraying your trust, but I can’t help how I feel, Lena. And now, to know that you...that you had such strong feelings for me, and I never-“ she paused, jaw trembling, “-I never realized I felt the same.”

Lena’s breath caught in her throat as Kara’s words hit her like a tidal wave, a heady combination of elation and fear flooding through her as her mind parsed this new information.

Kara had feelings for her. 

_ Had…? _

“You wanted me to hurt like you’re hurting? Well, I’m pretty sure I’ve broken my own heart.” Kara said, raising her palm to press against her own chest. 

Lena could feel her stubborn pride bleeding out of her as she looked at Kara. She cursed every part of her that invariably allowed the Kryptonian to soften her resolves and offer perspectives her overworking mind failed to consider.

Kara Zor-El would be her undoing one way or another. The acceptance of that settled in the cracks and crevasses of the pathway forward.

Her hand was gently cupping Kara’s damp cheek before she fully knew what she was doing. “Kara…” she all but breathed, words failing her as she searched Kara’s face for something she wasn’t sure she would find. Slowly, she saw Kara’s expression morph from sadness to confusion and finally to something Lena knew was probably mirrored on her own face - tentative hope.

Lena could feel her eyes filling with tears again as she held Kara’s gaze, her thumb tenderly wiping away the tear tracks on her cheek.

“Did we wreck it?” Kara asked softly, leaning slightly into Lena’s hand. “Our chance?” She added, eyes wide with apprehension.

The rational side of Lena’s brain stalled before an attempt could be made at forming a decisive opinion on the matter. The knowledge that some part of Kara wanted her despite her actions dumbfounded Lena even as memories of Kara lying to her skipped across her mind. Their friendship was undoubtedly fractured, the foundation too unstable to go on, but her draw to Kara was undeniable.

Lena had no easy answer for Kara so she offered the only response she could think of in that moment. She leaned forward, tugging Kara toward her until her lips met Kara’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the re-build begin...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introspective Lena makes a decision on her next move while Kara asks the obvious questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I nearly wrote a huge smut scene to just put them both out of their angst-filled misery but decided to drag it out after seeing 5x08 which might as well have been pulled entirely from fanfic.
> 
> My apologies for the show progress, I currently have twenty two stitches in my hand so typing has been limited to my phone. Kudos to the awesome authors that bang out incredible works via mobile! I am in awe. ;)

Solace.

Lena had never had a use for that word in her vocabulary beyond well-aged scotch or a particularly good pinot noir she would pour herself after a long day. Bereft of comfort in her early years, Lena had been diligently taught to rise above the needs of the so-called weak minded in society. Still, she had sought it out occasionally in her past relationships only to be disappointed when it ultimately came with conditions she couldn’t fulfill.

Being less driven and more willing to put her partner before her ambitions wasn’t something Lena was willing to yield. Not when her brother had done so much damage to the world and certainly not when the world needed help on a multitude of levels. It was something she couldn’t risk. Where she sought understanding and equality, she faced betrayal and mismatched principles.

No one had ever come close to providing Lena solace in the ways Kara had managed, almost effortlessly from the start. Her easy charm, endless warmth, and unwavering loyalty soothed her on her roughest days of dealing with the naysayers and competitors out to prove her to be a Luthor cut from the same cloth as her family. Kara’s love had given Lena hope that one day she could be seen as an unequivocal force of good in the world despite her last name.

Lena had basked in Kara’s friendship, her support sometimes the only thing that kept her going on particularly hard days. Eventually she was forced to admit to herself that what she felt for Kara was more than just intense friendship but it didn’t deter her from enjoying every moment she had with her. Their friendship fulfilled more emotional needs and wants than any of Lena’s past relationships. Her physical needs and wants… well, she could fulfill them elsewhere and never the two shall meet.

Until Kara confessed to having feelings for her, the words casting a thread of possibility to wind inside Lena’s chest, binding the cracks in her heart just enough to reveal the precipice she knew deep down they had both been edging around for the better part of two years.

And now they’re kissing and Lena almost hates how willing she is to tip over the edge into the abyss. The first press of their lips a tentative stop measure, the second and third searching for the right angle, the sweet spot, before giving over to the tingling warmth that courses through every inch of her body. 

Lena knows somewhere in the back of her mind that she should be prioritizing her project before personal needs but right now her only focus is Kara’s mouth and the soft throaty sounds she’s pulling from her with each press of their lips.

Kara continued to tremble though the strong hand firmly cupping the back of Lena’s neck suggests to Lena that it’s more from their current activity and less from the remnants of kryptonite and ice.

Each slant of their mouths sent sparks of energy through every inch of Lena’s body, her mind fogged with the ignition of desire. It wasn’t until the need for oxygen became a real problem that Lena was able to pull herself back to regroup. Opening her eyes, she couldn’t help but focus on Kara’s mouth for a moment, the desire to lean in again strong. 

Biting her lip, Lena looked up to meet Kara’s tender gaze. She had to decide what she was going to do.

Kara let her hand trail down Lena’s shoulder and arm until she laced her fingers with Lena’s.

“I’m pretty sure I don’t even want to know what you’re going to try using Myriad for but you should probably tell me anyway so my sister doesn’t shoot you on sight.”

Lena straightened up, her brow furrowing. “What? How would-“

“I haven’t been in touch with Alex. The defence protocol probably fried my earpiece. I’m a little surprised she hasn’t shown up yet.” Kara explained.

Lena took a deep breath and nodded. “Right, well, that’s my cue to leave then.” she said, standing up from the platform. Their feelings could wait but her window of opportunity to launch Non Nocere was limited and possibly hampered depending on how much the DEO had already put together.

Kara tightened her hold on Lena’s hand, wriggling around to rid herself of the blankets so she could also stand. “Lena, wait. Please don’t do something you’ll regret.”

Lena stared at Kara.

“I told you I’m not a villain.”

“I know you’re not a villain but other people, they…you know how they are. They won’t see your good intentions, they’ll see-“

“Another Luthor out to destroy the world?”

“Exactly. And I know that’s not true, but Lena, you’re setting the stage like you plan on doing  _ something _ … and you know I’ll need to stop you if you’re going to harm people. The DEO will come after you.”

Lena shook her hand out of Kara’s grip and stepped back. “I don’t plan on harming people. In fact, the entire goal is to prevent that from happening.”

“Okay, but I don’t understand why you need myriad. That’s...you...Lena, what are you going to release?” Kara asked, panicked.

Lena pressed the switch on the portal watch. “I need to go, Kara.”

Kara eyed the purple swirling portal window warily and took a step forward. “I’m coming with you then.”

“What?” Lena barked, her head shaking in equal parts panic and disbelief. “No, you can’t.” 

“Why not? You said you’re not doing harm. You say you’re not a villain. Why won’t you let me come with you?”

“Because, Kara,” Lena hedged, “You won’t like it.”

Kara’s name echoed off the walls of the outer chamber, startling them both. Alex had arrived with back-up.

Lena stepped back, watching Kara’s torn expression follow her before finally looking away to where her sister would be appearing. Heaving a sigh of relief, Lena stepped through the portal to finish what she had started.


End file.
